The end of myself

Well, April has come and gone without a peep from me. Well, I have made a lot of peeps, but none on this blog. Life is busy as usual, but the Lord has really been teaching me a lot. I'll get to that in a minute.

We wrapped up pre-school the beginning of April. I have ordered all of our Kindergarten books and C and I are very excited to get going. I am planning to work out a "formal" schedule next week. B asks to do school almost daily. He wants to learn new things too. O just wants to be involved. With all of the interest from the middle two, I have moved all of our school stuff into our dining room china cabinet. It is the perfect storage space. Hopefully I'll put some pretty fabric in the doors where the glass is soon. I think that would look prettier than all of the clutter.

B has learned how to ride the running bike and asks for a walk every morning. He has done 2+ miles several times and loves the special time with Daddy.

We went strawberry picking with some friends one day and brought home over 64 pounds. The picking was a little easier than we thought and we were a little zealous. Now we have a freezer shelf full of strawberries for smoothies and a dozen or more jars of homemade strawberry jam. I even learned to can! It's so easy!!

We defrosted our deep freezer and moved it inside. It is so orderly right now. Hopefully I will type up my list and print it off before we use a bunch of stuff and it's wrong!

We celebrated the resurrection of our Lord Jesus with our church family and my family. Albert led the Children's message at church by going through most of the resurrection eggs. Everyone really enjoyed it. We had dinner and an egg hunt at my sister's house and it was so fun! I love celebrating the various parts of Jesus' life with our children. It's so fun when they start to know the story and are able to tell us!

Yesterday was our last day of M.OPS. God provided an opportunity for me to share exactly what He has been teaching me with another mom. I feel a little uncomfortable sharing something as encouragement for someone while I am still learning it. I don't want to sound like I've arrived, but I do want to share what the Lord is teaching me with others.

Also at M.OPS I won the on-time basket! We receive a ticket if we have our children dropped off and ourselves signed in by 9:30. Yesterday we were just moving a little slow and about halfway to M.OPS I realized that I would probably be late. Instead of feeling anxious and like I need to speed or heard my children around, I took a deep breath and decided it was ok. It wasn't like I was going to win anyway. Skip to the best part. I signed in 45 seconds before the cut off and I won the second basket! It was full of yummy smelling body wash and foot scrub, some pretty nail polish that I think I'll enjoy this winter. It felt like a real mother's day gift. How exciting!

Today we went to a Blue Angels practice show. It was really cool. They were flying over the sea wall, so we were able to set up our blanket on the grass and watch comfortably. I think it was about 60 degrees with a steady breeze. We brought our breakfast and were actually early for an 8:30 show! Afterwards we played at a great park on base and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

During rest time, when no one was resting, I sewed up three pairs of these pants. B received some for his birthday, so he didn't need any. We are going on a short trip this weekend and I thought they would be the perfect travel pants. I'll toss them in the was tomorrow and they'll be ready to go. If you need some quick, comfy pants for your littles, these are great. To make them shorter for O and CJ, I just measured the length with another pair of their pants that I like the length of, added about another inch and a half or so and cut it off. These are play and travel pants, so they don't really need to be measured.

And now for what I've been learning.

For the last 8 months I have felt stretched. CJ has been an excellent baby, but I just haven't felt like I've been rolling through life smoothly. I guess I've felt like I was riding a bicycle and making it go, but very awkward and uncomfortably. Something has been very hard. It hasn't been my children. It hasn't been my marriage. There haven't been any obvious factors, I just have felt off. For eight months. I have searched book after book and friend after friend for what I need to do differently, how to organize my life so that it runs more smoothly, anything to help. Life will smooth out for a week or so and I may even muster up enough courage and energy to leave the house for several hours, then I feel overwhelmed and stretched again.

My pastor's wife has been coming over once a week or so for the last few months. A couple of weeks ago she said "Motherhood is a high calling." I thought about this and questioned it until the next time I saw her. Then I asked, "Does it say in the Bible that motherhood is a high calling? Are you sure it is? I just haven't been feeling it." The Lord and T have given me several things to chew on in response, maybe one or more of these will help you.

• Start everyday thanking the Lord. Before you even get out of bed, thank the Lord.
• In all things give thanks. When your (my) children are hanging on my legs and crying over their hunger, thank the Lord for their strong lungs and ability to communicate. Thank Him for providing for us. The pretty and the ugly, in all things thank Jesus.
• My joy has to come from Jesus, not from my children's obedience or my husband.
• The reason that I am so overwhelmed is because I am at the end of myself. The request being made of me daily are more than I can handle. I can't keep everything going in my own strength. My own strength has run out. This is exactly where God wants me to be. Being at the end of myself has reminded me that my only hope is in the Lord. I am having to figure that out daily.

So what do I do when I'm at the end of myself, I'm hoping in the Lord and there is still a list of things to do and four demanding little people? Go to the Lord in prayer. My Sunday school teacher in OK called them "arrow prayers". I've prayed in the morning, "Lord, go before me and fight the battle of disobedience. I know the battle is already won against my children's sinfulness. Thank You for going before me into this day."

Another thing that offers hope:

I've been reading through "Voices of the True Woman Movement". It is excellent. The chapter I read this week is talking about Hannah and Samuel. The author mentions that one of Hannah's prayers may have been, "Lord, I don't know the future, but I know that You hold the future." This has brought me so much peace. I can't really explain it, but it has calmed my soul as I know it is true.

So, I am praising the Lord that I have had more joy and peace in the last week than I have in the last few months and I hope you will too! Praise the Lord!

March Happenings

This month has been nothing short of exciting and full!

This little guy turned 7 months old and is sitting up like a champ! He is successfully traveling forwards and enjoys riding in the front of the stroller for walks. Any time outside is fun for him, but he really loves crawling/scooting off of the blanket and eating grass! I've given him food off of the spoon a couple of times and he pretty much hates it, so all of this chub is just from nursing! Also, he has slept through the night the last couple of nights! So big!

B is riding his running bike with excellence. We went for a walk today and he was gliding all over the place.

Here's the whole gang at the park on Sunday.

C was a ring bearer in a wedding this weekend. He did great! He had to walk down the aisle by himself and I was so nervous! He looked so handsome, yet so little in his tux. I think it is really good for me to see him as a little guy every once in a while.

O turned 2 last week! Where has the time gone? I made her a strawberry cake and put some strawberry juice in the butter cream icing. I could have eaten the whole thing! I am so thankful for her and the excitement she adds to our life!

Here she is on her last day as a one year old.

In other news we have one more week of school and I have been searching out materials for next year. I think I am going to type up my own teacher's guide. It will take a lot of work this year, but I'll be able to use it for four years. I may do a post about what I'll be using, but I am waiting for a friend's opinion on everything first. It is really exciting though and I can't wait to place my order!

Doesn't this basket look like fun. Hoping to win it for O's birthday which is just around the corner! Happy winning!

February at a glance

Well, it's been a busy month again. Out of four weekends in February, our family was split in some way for three of them. That is more apart time then we've had in the last year! I am tired and ready to just hang out at home, wrap up school and enjoy this beautiful untimely weather. I planted some bulbs last week and can hardly wait for them to come up, but it should still be cold outside. We all had a little sunburn last week. Isn't it winter?? The flies are back already. Now, I know it's too early for that. We are really enjoying the beautiful weather, but it does seem a month or so early. What does this mean for summer??

Enough talking, here are the troops.

Albert received an award for "Flight Instructor of the Year." He and I were invited to a formal banquet. We had a great time and a delicious meal and left all four littles with a babysitter. It was a BIG night!!

CJ's latest adventures are sitting up, rolling all over the floor, spinning on his belly and trying to army crawl to the nearest toy. He is so fun and makes all of us smile so so much!

C is a crazy as ever. We are down to the last six weeks of Kindergarten. He is enjoying it and learning a ton. Last week we had an assessment of how high he can count. With a tinge of help he counted to 130! More exciting than that is how easily he is memorizing scripture and growing in his love and leadership of his younger siblings.

B is our silly boy. This picture is not what he usually looks like, but it depicts him perfectly. He is also memorizing scripture but needs a bit more assistance and likes to add in extra words like "poop". "Our Father in heaven, poop." I do correct him on this and am trying to teach him to show respect to the word of God, but it does make me laugh on the inside. He is just silly 99% of the time and so enjoyable!

O is the princess around here. She and I have started having weekly or bi-weekly tea parties. The boys participated in the first couple, and they are invited if they are around. Last week the 3 big boys (Albert, C and B) were on a "boy's trip" and CJ was sleeping. I thought that would be a great time for a girl's only tea-party. Instead of having tea we had m&ms while sitting on the floor. O scooped black beans and played while I read "The Princess and the Kiss" and the first part of "God's Wisdom for Little Girls". I really enjoyed our time together and hope to make this a weekly special time.

So big! CJ is 6 months old already! This is the crown I made for everyone back in December. Not sure if I ever posted a picture.

Matching Js from the Auntie A.

Our lives are full these days and I wouldn't trade it. I am finding the most contentment through being at home managing the troops and seeking time with the Lord. March is already feeling full and it hasn't even begun yet! I am thankful February is drawing to a close though, it was just way more busy than my liking.

Plan: revised

I have been thinking and praying a lot about this blog. Not just blogging, but time on the Internet, f.acebook, surfing. All things computer related. It has taken me a long time to transition into having four little ones. I have asked several friends, countless times, for tips and any glimmer of guidance they might have. I recently purchased "Organized Simplicity" and "Large Family Logistics." After reading a portion of both of them I have felt convicted over killing time on the computer. I mean, I need to be able to mentally check out a little each day, but why not do something profitable rather than hide in my bathroom with my phone and check the face.book status of all these people I never talk to? If I were truly concerned about them, I would write them an e-mail or call them. I am just wasting time and being nosey. For me, this is sinful and I must change. I first felt convicted to get off of face.book. I have been tossing it around, hoping that was not what I really heard, but I think it is. If I don't respond to the small acts of obedience the Lord calls me to, will I hear Him on the big ones?

I have also felt challenged with this blog. I have a lot that I'd really like to write and I would love to have all of these followers and comments, but it just isn't me. At M.OPS this month we made a journal. I am the girl who started probably 20 journals as a young girl and never wrote much. I am now using the back for a prayer journal and slowly filling up all of those mostly empty journals. But this journal, I feel led to write the happenings of my children. The things I would blog about, but I don't want the negative feedback. I can be completely honest and write whatever I want. And, when my children are older, they will have a journal (hopefully several) documenting their childhood, written by their mother's hand. It's a noble ambition and I hope I follow through.

So, my new plan is to post pictures of the children around the third week each month, that's when all of their birthdays are; 18, 19, 22, 22. And an undetailed update on the happenings of the Ducks. We have a large amount of family who live far from us, and I want to be better about sharing pictures with them. I hope the three of you who read this understand and still love us. It isn't you, it's me! I just can't manage my time with the computer zapping it all away!

In Christ,

Robin

Book List

Here is my book list for 2011 so far:

Finish: Ginger Plowman's Don't Make Me Count to Three

Martha Peace's The Faithful Parent: A Biblical Guide to Raising a Family

Terri Maxwell's Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit

Voddie Baucham's Family Driven Faith

Julie Ann Barnhill's She's Gonna Blow! I'm not actually sure yet if this one is on the list or not. I have started it, but I might put it away without finishing it.

Wendy Horger Alsup's Practical Theology for Women

Pam Forster's Instructions in Righteousness

I am sure more books will be added throughout the year, and hopefully I can check some off! My goal is one chapter a day. So far so good!

What are you reading this year?

On Order

After that last post I promptly scrubbed the kitchen floor, some of it with a toothbrush and some with a rag, cooked dinner and folded and put away that mountain of laundry! The floor is dirty again, but it was clean for a couple of hours!

I just ordered two books. I can hardly wait for them to get here! One is Large Family Logistics. It is sort of a text book on how to operate a large family. Just the title has me thinking. Are we a large family? How many children makes a large family. I've come to decide this:

1-2 children = small family

3-5 children = medium family

6+ children = large family

This is my own personal breakdown, so please please do not take offense if you do not agree. Having four children has opened the door to me finding several other families who have four children. It is much more common then I once thought. At first I thought our shock factor was having four children, but now I think it is the time span. I never have been the sort of person who likes to do something for shock value, but it can be fun to see people's reaction to my littles if my perspective is right.

This has been a VERY full week for us. Monday we did school, went to Jo.Ann's and I made a floor quilt for CJ. Just doing school and going to the store is HUGE! for us. Tuesday we went to M.OPS and the commissary. I packed a lunch and we ate it in the mini before we left M.OPS. Then I gave the older three a lollipop to suck on while we walked around. It went really well. We had several people comment on us, but one lady stuck out in my mind and I hope I never forget her. As we were coming down the peanut butter aisle, near the end of the trip, she clapped quietly a couple of times and said "you're doing good". She just warmed my heart and was an encouragement to me.

The second book I ordered is Organized Simplicity. I wish I could just look at these books and have all of the knowledge soak into my brain! I just don't think I can read them fast enough! With the beginning of the year, I have been cleaning out like a mad woman. Clothes are the main target. We have VERY loving and generous grandparents and all of the children walked away with a mound of new clothes. After washing everything, buying more hangers, and hanging it all up, I felt completely overwhelmed. It was just too much. The boy's closet was full wall to wall and O's closet was 3/4 full for one very small person. I called my dear friend, K, and asked her to give me some numbers. She also has four small children and does an excellent job of pursuing simplicity. (She's the one who told me about this book.) Her suggestion was 2 options for church, one outfit for each day of the week and one extra. I decided I would break it into seasons. I haven't gotten them completely down to 10 summer shirts and 10 winter shirts, but I have cut their clothing down by almost half. It is embarrassing the bags of clothes we have to give away and I think for us, it came to the point of being sinful. I feel so much freer having cleaned out so much! I know cleaning out our clothing is a continual process, but one big purge feels so good! The children weren't the only ones to shed a few pounds of cloth, I went through my closet too. Wow, I think I could clothe another woman with what I pulled out. Albert and I are hoping to get our clothes down to one dresser and our closet and we have an entire shelf in our closet that is empty. I'm sure we still have a ways to go in simplifying, but this is a start!